in my last post i mention how mom has a hard time paying up when she has committed to something. i wanted to ellaborate a little on mom and her money. she really has no problem throwing it around, if only to make it look like she is more lavish than she actually is. she does, however, have a problem paying for things she has committed to. i’ve already given one instance above. here’s another. while planning our wedding, ideas were presented to both our parents. my parents gave us their budget and what they were willing to pay for (really it was the majority of the wedding as tradition dictates). thomas’ parents (mom) said on many occasions she would pay for this, or that, or whatever. i, being a responsible adult and it beingmywedding, was not going to rely on my parents or his to pay soley for our wedding. i had put up my own money for the majority of things. my parents either paid me back or went with me to pay directly. thomas’ parents on the other hand, held out. yes, a wedding is a huge financial burden. that is why i wasn’t going to wait around for anyone. i wasn’t going overboard with planning. my dress cost $400.00. i, with the help of my family, made all the food for the reception. we borrowed tents, tables and chairs from family, friends and neighbors. all the venues we looked at were much too expensive for us, so we held it in the backyard. the most expensive thing was our photographer. which, mom said she would pay half for. getting her to actually pay for it was a nightmare. there was always some excuse as to why she couldn’t pay. i had to pay myself. i was finally paid back some time after the wedding. we did use their backyard, and maybe they thought that was enough of a contribution, all other commitments aside. i really didn’t want to have my wedding in a backyard. i think it’s tacky. but, we didn’t have much money, and they had a decent enough backyard. it still took a lot work to have it wedding ready. work, that they were not willing to help us out with, and that they wouldn’t let thomas off work to help me out with. so, i ended up planting the whole yard, weeding, chopping vines, removing dead trees and moving all the junk that was accumulated on the back porch. things like broken refrigerators (there was at least 2), rusty lawn furniture, dog kennels and who knows what else. i had to plant new grass and clean up after their dogs. not to mention make sure they didn’t destroy all the plants and flowers i had just planted.
really, all the planning and prepping for the wedding should have been my first clue, and real glimpse into the reality of this family. they even refused to help us set up. we set up the tents, tables and chairs the night before. i showed up on my wedding day to find that everything else still needed to be done. luckily my family was close behind and was able to jump right in. however, they were already dressed for the wedding, and i still needed to get ready myself. thomas’ family was all inside snacking on my reception food and watching t.v. after getting most everything ready, i only had a few minutes to change. already not the way i had envisioned my wedding day. the only thing i heard from his family was complaints. complaints thatmyfamily doesn’t help out with anything andtheyhad to do all the work. i should have been the one complaining! after the ceremony, baby brother (who i’m surprised even showed up and was only invited because his parents invited him) went home. i didn’t care. i was even glad! he wouldn’t have to be in my pictures! wrong!! we had to wait for him to come back before mom and dad would let us do a family picture. we waited 2 hours before we were allowed to have a picture with out him. he did end coming back, dressed in grungy old work clothes, and wrote nasty things in our memory book. he should have just stayed home to begin with.
Penelope Paisley 